- You and your teeth don't sleep together.
- Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
- At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
- Your back goes out, but you stay home.
- You wake up looking like your driver's license picture.
- It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
- Happy hour is a nap.
- You're on vacation, and your energy runs out before your money does.
- You say something to your kids that your mother said to you, and you always hated it.
- You look for your glasses for half an hour, and they were on your head the whole time.
- You sink your teeth into a steak - and they stay there.
- All you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
- Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
- It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
- Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.
- Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
- The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
- Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.
- It takes twice as long - to look half as good.
- Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work.
- You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.
- You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore.
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