This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless to say
the helpdesk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing
the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
Actual dialogue of a former Wordperfect Customer Support employee:
Tech: "What sort of trouble?"
Tech: "Went away?"
Tech: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
Tech: "Nothing?"
Tech: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
Tech: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
Tech: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
Tech: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
Tech: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
Tech: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find
where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
Tech: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged
into the wall."
Tech: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
Tech: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Tech: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely
into the back of your Computer."
Tech: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
Tech: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
Tech: "Dark?"
Tech: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Tech: "No? Why not?"
Tech: "A power... A power outage? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
Tech: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just
like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Client: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Tech: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Tech: "Tell them you're too @#*?! stupid to own a computer!"
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