Jokes! Religious Humor

***The Minister*** A Lutheran minister is driving down to New York to see the radio show and he's stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on his breath and then he sees an empty wine bottle on the floor, and he says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" And the minister says, "Just water." The sheriff says, "Then why do I smell wine?" And the minister looks down at the bottle and says, "Good Lord, He's done it again!"      Four old Catholic women were having coffee. The first woman tells her friends..."My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him "Father"." The second woman chirps, "My son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him "Your Grace"." The third old woman says "My son is a Cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, he's called "Your Eminence"." Since the fourth woman sips her coffee in silence, the first three give her this subtle "Well...?" look, so she says "My son is 6'2"; he has broad, square shoulders; he's terribly handsome and dresses very well. Whenever he walks into a room, women say "Oh, my God..."      Two Major League pitchers from the same team are in a terrible auto accident. Joe dies immediately, while Bob lives but goes into a coma. Three days later, Bob wakes up in his hospital room in the middle of the night. He looks down to the foot of his bed and sees the ghost of Joe hovering just above the floor. "Joe," he shouts, "what happened?" Joe says, "Frank, we were in a car crash. I died and went to heaven." Frank says, "Well that's good that you made it to heaven but why are you here?" Joe says, "Well Frank, I've got good news and bad news... The good news is they have a professional baseball league up here, just like they have on earth. And you should see some of the players we have up here, D'maggio, Ty Cobb, The Babe..." Frank says, "So what's the bad news?" Joe says, "You're scheduled to pitch Friday!"

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