- IN A LAUNDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please
remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
- IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement
Upstairs
- IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step
ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps
will be taken.
- IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break staff should
empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining
board.
- ON A CHURCH DOOR: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter
ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because
of the draft. Please use side entrance)
- OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything -
bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife
along and get a wonderful bargain.
- NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving
their garments here for more than 30 days will be
disposed of.
- IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW: Closed due to illness.
- SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In
Your Car!
- SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE: For anyone who has
children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the
first floor.
- MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this
leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.
- ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR: We can repair anything
(Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)
- SPOTTED IN A TOILET IN A LONDON OFFICE BLOCK: Toilet
out of order. Please use floor below.
- SPOTTED ON A SIGN IN SCOTLAND:
Eat here and you'll never live to regret it.
- POSTED AT A TOTAL BODY FITNESS SHOP:
Satisfaction guaranteed in 30 days...or your old body refunded!
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