Jokes! Gender Play

***Guys & Girls*** Why are married women heavier than single women? Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. How does a man show that he is planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer. What is the difference between men and government bonds? The bonds mature. What did God say after creating Adam? I must be able to do better than that. What did God say after creating Eve? "Practice makes perfect." <     ***How to Impress a Woman:*** Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, wine and dine her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support her, buy flowers for her, go to the ends of the earth for her... ***How to Impress a Man:*** Show up naked. Bring beer.      A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on the average only 15,000 words a day, where as women use 30,000 words a day. She thought about this for awhile and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. He said, "What?"      A man's home is his castle...until the queen arrives. All men are animals...but some make good pets. Bonus gender joke: Who Wears The Pants?

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